Going Forward, The Light Brigade…
While I’m here, I’d like to take this opportunity to stick the boot into the phrase going forward, so beloved of politicians, business-types and similiar riff-raff. I mean, going forward? As opposed to what? Going backwards? Going sideways? Going up and down like a fucking pogo stick? At first, I assumed it was just one of those phrases that spreads like all those wretched TV catch-phrases that simpletons repeat believing themselves to be witty.
Homer Simpson’s Doh was inescapable for a while as was the fantastically irritating formulation, that is, like, sooo not… whatever the fuck it wasn’t. I always dismissed people who used these catch-phrases as morons, on par with people who believe in astrology or the dictatorship of the proletariat.
But politicians and PR suits use phrases for a reason, moronic as that reason might be. I realized that going forward is a perfect phrase for people whose interest is in maintaining the status quo–who in fact have no interest in going anywhere at all. Perfect because used in a sentence or while making an assertion, (we have had to raise prices so that we can improve services going forward), it creates the illusion of dynamism. This is not mere standard waffle, oh no…we’re going forward…movement…action…forging a path into a glorious and better future…we have your best interest at heart…going forward!
It has the bonus effect of allowing the user of the phrase to imply that anyone who is critical or sceptical is not going forward–is, in fact, an enemy of change, of improvement. It’s a phrase that allows the reactionary to play the revolutionary.
Going forward, can we all agree to slap the next silly bastard we hear using this slimy phrase?