Going Forward To Synergy, In A Very Real Sense…
Anyone puzzling over the reasons for the decline of writing standards at the exciting new-look Grauniad has not far to seek. The following story, which appeared in Private Eye a few weeks ago, helps to explain why a once great paper now happily publishes the deranged half-witted vapourings of Bidisha and the egregious piffle of career toady and slime-ball biographer of Paris Hilton, Chad Newkey-Burden:
Grauniad hacks arriving at their new Kings Place HQ last week were presented with an introductory handbook designed at enormous expense by Gilles and Cecillie, purveyors of twee artwork to other cutting–edge media organisations such as,er, Harvey Nichols, Credit Suisse and Cartier.
Useful information, such as the location of the loos and restaurant, is tricky to find among the 68 pages of self-regarding bollocks about “sustainability” and “creativity”. Even the maps are confusing, unless you happen to know what a “think pod” or a “culture hub” is.
Elsewhere the handbook, “ironically” designed to look like a child’s picture book, is scattered with random slogans, as might be found on a ten–year–old’s sticker–plastered lunch box: “working together”, “first thing in the morning”, “going new ways”, “sharing hands”, “because we want to”, “I love nature”, “pass the sickbag”. [Spot the one we made up.–Ed.]
Staff arriving last week, meanwhile, were taken aback to discover, in a “culture hub” window facing a local council estate, what looked very much like a bullet hole.
So what is a “culture hub”, anyway?
According to the Grauniad‘s PR supremo Julie Taylor, it is an “integrated pool of talent for all those working in creative fields”. What used to be called an “arts section”, then.
And a “think pod”? That, according to Ms Taylor, is “a space where it is possible to go and work in a quiet environment, with a door”. What in the fuddy–duddy old days was called “a room”.
—Private Eye, no.1226
Under the ₤680,000 p.a. aegis of oleaginous ex–gossip columnist and piano bore Alan Rusbridger, the Grauniad’s slide into the maelstrom of illiterate gibberish can be expected to continue apace.