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Printed In A Book…

May 18, 2009

Chagall-The Poet

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Oh that my words were now written! oh that they were printed in a book! —Job 19:23, KJV

I thought I’d take this opportunity to salute our friend Billy Mills and all the poster poets who made Poster Poems such a delight. I know I’m not alone in welcoming the prospect of Poster Poems returning, albeit less frequently.

It also gives me great pleasure to see that many of the contributions will be anthologized. I’d like to think it’ll become the Palgrave’s Golden Treasury of the digital era. So well done, Bill, tolerant and encouraging landlord of the on-line Mermaid Tavern. May your moustache never grow thinner.

265 Comments
  1. May 18, 2009 2:15 PM

    I don’t mind if you want a couple of mine too, Billy; add a little bathos to the mix.

    Been in Germany for a bit:

    http://xuitlacoche.blogspot.com/2009/05/little-moments-make-hour.html

  2. mishari permalink*
    May 18, 2009 2:37 PM

    Two of yours are on the list Bill sets out in his article, Isa…

  3. May 18, 2009 2:42 PM

    Good. Thanks Billy.

  4. May 18, 2009 2:49 PM

    ISA, get on over and mail in your permission, etc.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2009/may/15/poster-poems-book?commentpage=1

    Mishari, thanks (blushes).

  5. elcal permalink
    May 18, 2009 4:30 PM

    mish,

    thank you for the nomination, just noticed you’re why i’m in the GUlag Treasury

  6. mishari permalink*
    May 18, 2009 7:00 PM

    Nonsense. You’re in it because it’s right that you should be.

  7. May 18, 2009 7:24 PM

    I have reservations about my own inclusion. I work painstakingly for seven years writing a novel and then someone wants to publish a poem I wrote in five minutes more or less without any thought.

    Mind you, it’s a straight path to fame and success: fellow poster-poemee Julian Gough had a play on BBC radio this week, listen here:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00k9p0w/Afternoon_Play_The_Great_Hargeisa_Goat_Bubble/

  8. pinkroom permalink
    May 18, 2009 9:12 PM

    Agreed stout work Mills. Good title/cover and it will define half a generation.

    I would really welcome a monthly posters… weekly became a little stale. I would also favour the slightly more demanding tasks such as those occasionally set by Mishari here, to discourage the completely casual… I thought the limerick thread in particular suffered from too many wilfully stoopid posts… a few will always be welcome but it began to read like a public toilet wall in North Shields at times and, believe me, that is no pace you want to hang around for long before the smell lingers. It should be something to look forward to.

    At the end of each year, those new year papers are always empty, an annual “best of” could be printed in the main paper??? That would give the threads a slightly competetive focus for those interested in such things (and being honest I am.. not for money or vanity but because the excellence of others around me usually spurs me on to fail a bit better)

    It could be a really, really good evolution.

  9. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 10:49 AM

    Just thought I’d mention, Monday was the busiest day ever here at Politely Homicidal: 6835 hits. Here are few of the more…erm…curious search terms that brought people here:

    sheep rider

    arab penis long

    church sheep dictator

    porn von frauelein

    we love sheep club

    immobile girls

    cause for pale hands with green

    la public toilette a paris

    little girls references

    gun violence and far rockaway

    sheep sex

    mammal ear sheep

    sheeps with buckets of colour

    beauty and the bastard

    piss holes in the snow chaucer

    sheep with pistol

    dew remove golf

    dolls sheep

    litle girl boy porn photos

    sheep family tube

    flabby buttocks

    angry little girl in timeout

    forced fucking girl

    moses watching his sheep

    space sheep

    little girls having porn

    illustration how to tie a bow tie?

    group sheep fuck

    henry take an expensive suit

    villanelle harrison bergeron

    mrs peck pigeon poem

    waist deep movie bank robbery

    sinister brand bumble bee fighter

    thomas aquinas prayer positions

    bedlam hospital pay to see freaks

    bill the cat gun

    how many times does a bumblebee sting?

    sheep flower

    obese girls porn

    nice little girl tit

    insanity streak sheep

    crynogenics centers

    how was artist’s shit related to comercial

    sheep mask template

    sheep chicken kiss

    boys fucking little girls

    doll melancholic

    naked raped little girls

    free little girls porno

    que me pongo matrimonio em tunisia

    little girl porn cartoon

    megacunts

    fat man behind the desk

    far side sheep

    signing with a gun to my head

    +sheep +thumbs-up

    stiff sheep

    fuddy duddy panther mad boy teeth cat 1

    little girls playing with stuffed animal

    pickpocket poet

    a man putting on mafia suit with hat

    senile bugger

    spying sheep clouds

    drinking sheep cartoon

    coppola napoleon shrine live orchestra

    little girl resting head on table

    search captain fecken coloring pages

    bagpipes bexhill

    childish bumblebees,visuals

    lazy town girl

    pictures of a sonnet

    …still the go-to blog for sheep fanciers.

  10. May 20, 2009 11:06 AM

    Mishari I remember discussing most of these subjects but in which blog did we debate “porn von frauelein”?

  11. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 11:08 AM

    I think that must have been Steven, the decadent Berliner…

  12. May 20, 2009 11:54 AM

    “porn von frauelein”… surely the most pointlessly harmless sex-related search engine phrase I’ve ever seen; leave it to a German to think that one up.

  13. May 20, 2009 11:58 AM

    In fact, I think I’ll Google “female breasts and buttocks” to give some lucky blog owner a larf…

  14. May 20, 2009 12:51 PM

    I can’t get this sort of info on my blog, don’t think Blogger does it.

    One of the rude ones about sheep was me, I couldn’t remember how to spell your blog address, so figured I’d find it with sheep obscenities.

    I must admit to have missed the obese girl’s porn though Mish – nice to know I have career options…

  15. freep permalink
    May 20, 2009 12:56 PM

    6835 hits on Monday, mish? Time to sell, I think; I bid one goldplated mammal sheep’s ear. I expect Raymond’s revue bar would kill for a website with that much footfall from that many perverted sheep hunters. Or maybe the Vatican website would pay well for a site that attracts lust for
    ‘little girl boy porn photos’ as well as ‘thomas aquinas prayer positions’.

  16. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 12:59 PM

    Polly, I tried Blogger last year and it’s just too primitive by comparison. WordPress not only gives you God alone knows how many stylistic options and various bells and whistles, if you want them, but it gives you pretty comprehensive statistical info as well. Blogger’s crude by comparison…

    Rupert Murdoch’s been sniffing around, freep and I received an encyclical from a Papal legate, but I’m standing firm–£500 million and not a penny less.

  17. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 20, 2009 2:50 PM

    *Sheeps with Buckets of Colour*

    “Porn von Frauelein would bring immobile girls
    with pale hands and eyes like piss holes in the snow.
    Chaucer loved little girls references. A lazy town girl
    known as Bagpipes Bexhill was a real beauty
    and the bastard would, like Henry, take
    an expensive suit, gird his flabby buttocks
    and give his unmistakable illustration
    of how to tie a bowtie to the little girl.
    while miming boy porn photos against a backdrop
    of little girls having porn in a waist-deep
    movie bank robbery, glorifying gun violence,
    and Far Rockaway tourist board brochures likening,
    eroneously, crynogenics centers
    to “la public toilette à Paris”.
    Meantime, the fat man behind the desk,
    – senile bugger – a man putting on mafia suit
    with hat signing – with a gun to my head –
    movie contracts based on little girls playing
    with stuffed animal, the genre launched
    by pictures of a sonnet – Mrs Peck Pigeon Poem –
    (Bedlam Hospital pay to see freaks) and then spiralling,
    after the initial (chaste) successes of Moses Watching
    His Sheep, Sheep Mask Template and Sheep Chicken Kiss,
    into an ovine orgy of themed sequels: Sheep With Pistol,
    Stiff Sheep, Sheep Family Tube, Space Sheep,
    Church Sheep Dictator, We Love Sheep Club
    and the unforgettable Group Sheep Fuck
    in Thomas Aquinas Prayer Positions.”
    wrote an angry little girl in TimeOut.

    How many times does a childish bumblebee sting?

  18. May 20, 2009 3:38 PM

    Excellent stuff HLM, un vrai tour de force pornographique.

    More to the point how does entering “childish bumbleebees, visuals” get you on this site?

  19. May 20, 2009 4:12 PM

    It will now Al, now you’ve mentioned it…

  20. freep permalink
    May 20, 2009 4:14 PM

    …and, mish, how does a search for ‘bagpipes bexhill’ or ‘fat man behind the desk’ get you to Politely Homicidal? We need to know. I’ve been thinking about bagpipes in Bexhill all week, and would value advice. Are you the new Wolfram Alpha?

  21. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 4:45 PM

    I have absolutely no idea, freep, Al. I’m baffled. I suspect if someone is searching for bagpipe lessons in Bexhill, PH turns up on the list because somewhere is mentioned an old Goon Show with ‘Bexhill’ in the title and the word ‘bagpipe’ appears somewhere else.

    Google (although not all searches are Google–some are Yahoo, AOL and internal Worpress searches) isn’t very clever. Unless you put your search term in quotes, “bagpipe in Bexhill”, which will restrict the search to pages where that exact phrase appears, Google returns any site where the words ‘bagpipe’ and ‘bexhill’ appear. I think that’s what it is.

    Thanks, HLM. Good comes of bizzare search terms, after all.

  22. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 20, 2009 10:26 PM

    Thick As A Brick £1.38 MP3 download. I haven’t heard it in 30 years. Worth the punt?

  23. May 20, 2009 10:31 PM

    I have to admit it: I have not only owned Minstrel in the Gallery, Living in the Past, Aqualung, Too Old to Rock n Roll (Too Young to Die) and Thick as a Brick… I’ve listened to (and enjoyed) all of the above… *within the past 5 years*. Deeply unfashionable but good.

  24. May 20, 2009 10:45 PM

    I liked Thick as a Brick when it came out but beyond an extremely gnomic newspaper cover and the fact it was a concept double album with a concept that was “Tales-from-the-Topographic-Oceans-tortuous” I can’t remember a damn thing about it.

    The search terms Mishari listed above could be Ian Andersion’s shopping list.

    Offer them £1.27 and see what they say.

  25. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 20, 2009 10:51 PM

    I liked TAAB when it came out (I’m that old). I was just wikiing it and noticed it’s supposed to be a parody of prog rock. That completely passed me by in 1972. I used to own Benefit, which had some good songs on it.

    I didn’t know Ian Anderson came from Blackpool. Perhaps HLM knows of him.

  26. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 20, 2009 11:05 PM

    HLM does. I met him a couple of times in another lifetime and under another name when I was a customs officer at Heathrow Airport in the early seventies. I still have the frayed sleeve of TAAB with its vinyl insert though not the frayed blue serge sleeve with its poacher’s pockets for half bottles and sundry unseized items. But I’m sure my future publisher wouldn’t like me giving you a sneak preview of this possibly litigious material.
    Yes, I knew a lot of Tull hangers-on, scout leaders, babysitters, next-door neighbours and aunties from Blackpool. And Lytham St Annes.

    But in my defence, I never prosecuted anybody.

  27. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 20, 2009 11:07 PM

    I’ve had some unfortunate experiences revisiting stuff from the past. Gathering the family to watch a newly-arrived DVD of Ayckbourn’s Norman Conquests, which I hadn’t seen in 25 years, was a case in point. You’re going to love this. It’s so funny. It wasn’t.

  28. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 20, 2009 11:10 PM

    Having fast-forwarded huge chunks (don’t worry, the dog will clear it up), I realise I still know every word of TAAB’s lyrics. Take that as a recommendation.

  29. May 20, 2009 11:13 PM

    There’s something to be said for a record collection wherein Al Green, Ian Anderson, (early) Ultravox, Django Reinhardt, Rahsaan Roland Kirk, (early) Psychedelic Furs, Tomita, The Strawberry Alarm Clock, Patti Smith, Brazil 66, The Last Poets, This Mortal Coil, Glenn Gould, Little Anthony and the Imperials, Gnarls Barkley, Richard Wagner, Wes Montgomery, Steely Dan, Klaus Nomi, Lulu, NIN and Yes can peacefully coexist…

  30. May 20, 2009 11:16 PM

    “I was just wikiing it and noticed it’s supposed to be a parody of prog rock.”

    What? I thought it… what?

  31. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 11:17 PM

    Benefit, Stand Up and the double-LP collection Living In The Past still get the occasional play chez Al-Adwani. I Liked TAAB and Aqualung at the time, less so now.

  32. May 20, 2009 11:19 PM

    MM perhaps a family evening listening to Thick as a Brick isn’t a good idea unless you’re planning to use the drugs necessary to enhance the listening experience as well. Newcastle Brown and Mandrax was the cocktail of choice for some that I knew back then.

    Ian Anderson was a neighbour of some new-age weirdos I knew up in Scotland where he, true to rock star form, had a trout farm. It’s near Ballachulish if you’re thinking of making a pilgrimage Steven.

  33. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 11:21 PM

    BTW, HLM…you’re not Tony Saint, by any chance? I found Refusal Shoes, his fictionalized account of his time as an immigration officer at, I think, Heathrow, vastly entertaining…

  34. May 20, 2009 11:26 PM

    One thing I noticed about Jethro’s oeuvre (at the time): it would not, under any circumstances, get you near the bed with any creature you’d care to be near a bed with. In fact, hiding the the stuff behind Earth, Wind and Fire (until the all-clear was given and one’s girlfriendless minions began filing up the stairs for the late night ritual of hunching over lyric sheets and parsing infinities or re-hashing the details of the recent Python episode in which Carol Cleaveland had bared her breasts) was a good idea.

  35. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 20, 2009 11:28 PM

    Most interesting, HLM. I associated IA with Scotland, partly from his name of course, but also because I have a memory of him being interviewed in some kind of Scottish mansion he owned.

    Well, I’m inclined to splash out on TAAB since it is so highly regarded. Naturally I expect to be reimbursed if I suffer disappointment.

  36. May 20, 2009 11:28 PM

    “It’s near Ballachulish if you’re thinking of making a pilgrimage Steven.”

    Wouldn’t mind grabbing one of his lesser patio gnomes as a keepsake, actually…

  37. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 11:29 PM

    Odd, Steven…Aqualung was enormously popular with the girls I knew at the time. They didn’t get my beloved Hendrix or Buddy Guy.

  38. May 20, 2009 11:33 PM

    Fair do’s Steven – what self-respecting young woman would want to associate with someone who played the flute, toyed with the idea of being a dirty old man in a park, surrounded himself with extras from the Hobbit strumming mandolins ………and who liked Jethro Tull.

  39. May 20, 2009 11:33 PM

    Mishari:

    I knew *one girl* who liked Aqualung enough to have known that Ian’s wife wrote (or co-wrote) the lyrics to the single… but this girl was…. unpleasant….

    The best-looking girls I knew then were into Hall and Oats (who I vowed to one day kill)

  40. May 20, 2009 11:36 PM

    Actually, Al, I’m beginning to go from snickers to chortles, now, because I actually knew (as I suddenly recall) a long-haired git who emulated Ian Anderson (in the early 80s) and took up the flute and played the thing with that authentic *stork-legged posture*…

  41. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 11:37 PM

    One LP, perhaps more than any other made my late teens an unspeakable misery: Tea For The Tillerman by Cat Stevens. I loathed it as much as every girl I fancied adored it, the nit-wits. But I pride myself on my ability to wear the mask, even then. What an album. The thought of it still gives me a touch of mal de mer

  42. May 20, 2009 11:38 PM

    In that case, may I invite you to a midnight showing of HAROLD and MAUDE? (in hell, of course)

  43. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 20, 2009 11:40 PM

    Snap on the Scottish connection, Alarming. I don’t usually inflict my musical choices on the family, which courtesy it would be nice to see reciprocated. I did come to like, or appreciate, Eminem despite bawling Turn That Down 5 million times up the stairs. Ditto Sum42, though not Jimmy Eat World or Maroon 5 or…..

  44. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 11:43 PM

    Oh, Christ…Harold and fucking Maude. Why oh why did I allow myself to fancy such idiotic girls? Because I was a shallow young man, overly concerned with outward attributes, such as legs, arses, tits and faces. I’m ashamed to admit that not only did I see that retch-inducing cack-fest of a film at least half a dozen times, but (cringe, cringe) pretended to love it. God, the things we do for sex…

  45. May 20, 2009 11:45 PM

    I spent the better half of my twenties watching that fucking movie on various campus cinemas, walking red-eyed girls home afterwards; it’s funny how you could never tell (back then) which girls used sentimental tears as an excuse to let themselves let you spend the night, and which ones wanted to be alone afterwards… I think the success rate, with Harold and Maude, was 30%… possibly. But now I can’t think of the girls of that era without seeing Ruth Gordon’s deathmask superimposed on them. Things got *much* better by 1982.

  46. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 20, 2009 11:47 PM

    That one with Moonshadow and Morning Has Broken on it was even worse. Sharia Law is too good for him.

  47. May 20, 2009 11:48 PM

    I’ll take *ten* Moonshadows over one *Father and Son*

  48. May 20, 2009 11:49 PM

    “Because I was a shallow young man, overly concerned with outward attributes, such as legs, arses, tits and faces.”

    Yes, what *were* you thinking?

  49. mishari permalink*
    May 20, 2009 11:50 PM

    I believe (and I hate myself for knowing this) that you speak of Teaser and The Firecat, MM…I think I’m going to be ill…

  50. May 20, 2009 11:51 PM

    And to think: it was all about inseminating girls that you desperately feared getting pregnant: it doesn’t add up.

  51. May 20, 2009 11:57 PM

  52. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 12:01 AM

    Brutal. Still, a marked improvement on the original…

  53. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 21, 2009 12:01 AM

    When we decided to have children and stopped using contraception it almost unmanned me for a while. It seemed positively unnatural.

  54. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 21, 2009 12:25 AM

    Well, almost.

  55. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 12:28 AM

    I devoutly hope, MM, that you’re not going to go all Sting on us and tell us about your fabulous Tantric sex life…

  56. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 21, 2009 12:36 AM

    Sting was one of my more disappointing pupils. Six hours, as I kept telling him, is a minimum, not an aspiration.

  57. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 12:41 AM

    If it’s any consolation, every hour of his anodyne pop gargling feels like six to me…

  58. May 21, 2009 1:45 AM

    Am I alone in liking this one? (And with that, he wafted off to bed…)

  59. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 21, 2009 7:00 AM

    MM. Hold hard. A lack of sex concentrates a young mind wonderfully, and the reason I know so many Tull lyrics may well be related to the bleak and savage wasteland that was my sex life in the seventies.

    I certainly can’t blame that on being Tony Saint (raises eyebrow).

  60. May 21, 2009 8:23 AM

    Tull; wonderful at the time, less so now.

    I must dig out my Family albums.

  61. May 21, 2009 8:54 AM

    I suspect Family albums could be played today without having to cringe inwardly – haven’t heard them for decades of course but they had some good musicians in their ranks.

  62. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 9:04 AM

    I think Traffic have stood the test of time pretty well–LPs like John Barleycorn, Low Spark of High Heeled Boys and Welcome To The Canteen still sound fresh…

  63. May 21, 2009 10:16 AM

    Traffic are fantastic still, but for me the band that has best stood the test of time are The Band. Enough said.

  64. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 21, 2009 10:36 AM

    The Band always had a timeless quality, relying as they did on their brand of Americana. They were smart enough to formally bring their career to a close with the Last Waltz concert in 1976. A cynic might say that Robertson had realised he wasn’t going to be able to get away with ripping off his colleagues’ publishing royalties for much longer. Predictably it took almost two years in the studio sweetening the versions of the songs that were rather frayed and raucous from snorting too much sweet’n’low. My move to Paris in 1978, just after the Dylan concert at Blackbushe, coincided with the release of Scorsese’s film, and for three afternoons in a row I sat in the air-conditioned bliss of a brand-new cinema watching the Winterland Ballroom. Outside it was in the high thirties.

  65. May 21, 2009 10:42 AM

    Agree about the Band – though their 1st 2 albums and the Basement Tapes with Dylan were the best.

    Fleet Foxes ( much loved by the youth of today and yours truly ) owe a lot to them in their use of beards, imagery of a rural America that may not have actually existed and in their singing.

  66. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 11:30 AM

    “When I get off of this mountain,
    You know where I want to go?
    Straight down the Mississippi River,
    To the Gulf of Mexico
    To Lake Charles, Louisiana,
    Little Bessie, girl that I once knew
    She told me just to come on by,
    If there’s anything she could do

    Up on cripple creek she sends me
    If I spring a leak she mends me
    I don’t have to speak, she defends me
    A drunkard’s dream if I ever did see one.”

    …and


    I pulled into Nazareth, I was feelin’ about half past dead;
    I just need some place where I can lay my head.
    “Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?”
    He just grinned and shook my hand, and “No!”, was all he said”

    Two of the greatest openings ever. The Band at their best were magnificent.

  67. May 21, 2009 1:41 PM

    Agreed, mish and alarming, but I have a soft spot for Northern Lights/Southern Cross.

    Fleet Foxes are bloody good; I detect a hint of Traffic about them, too.

    HML, I was at the Blackbushe Dylan gig, as it happens.

  68. May 21, 2009 1:50 PM

    Oh HLM, if you insist!

  69. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 21, 2009 1:52 PM

    Don’t worry, Billy, I’m not acronymious by nature!

  70. May 21, 2009 2:00 PM

    Pedantry alert There’s an electric piano part on Cripple Creek that is Superstition by Stevie Wonder 2 or 3 years before Superstition by Stevie Wonder. The drums on that track are more James Brown than anything else as well.

  71. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 21, 2009 3:04 PM

    @Al
    Wiki: “The track “Up on Cripple Creek” by The Band is the first recorded example of patching a Clavinet through a guitar wah-wah pedal.”
    I can see what you mean about the drums, too. The sound is dry and flat, and Levon Helm’s got a whole too-funky-in-heah syncopation thang going on. What’s more, he sings!

  72. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 3:09 PM

    I must say, I’ve always been impressed by drummer/singers like Helm. Providing the beat and the main line of the melody seems like it would be extraordinarily difficult. Probably why there are so few drummer/vocalists…

  73. May 21, 2009 3:43 PM

    Amazing product, even more amazing customer reviews…

    http://www.amazon.com/Three-T-Shirt-Available-Various-Sizes/dp/B000NZW3IY/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

  74. May 21, 2009 3:45 PM

    What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer etc. etc.

    But if you go to Brazil, Cuba or Africa – they all play percussion and sing there. It’s only in Europe and possibly the Middle too where drummers are put at the back and told to shut up.

  75. May 21, 2009 3:47 PM

    XB You’re in Berlin and you’re spending time looking for T-shirts with wild dogs on them? Respect!

  76. May 21, 2009 4:03 PM

    @Al

    Fear not. I work online, so no time was taken from my leisure itinerary of decadence and strolling.

    And why weren’t you all listening to Velvet Underground, Neu!, Can and the Stooges in the 70s? As a Mojo reader I know that these are the groups the hipsters were digging back then. And Mott the Hoople.

    The drummer in my last band had perfect pitch and a history MA. The drummer in my first band was a better musician than the rest of us put together. I once saw him pick up a saxaphone – for the first time – and get a tune out of it within five minutes.

    Another drummer I worked with we replaced with a drum machine so that we only had to punch the informtion in once.

    How do you know there’s a drummer at the door?

    The knocking speeds up.

  77. May 21, 2009 4:10 PM

    What’s the difference between a sax solo and a round of machine gun fire?

    The machine gun only repeats itself 100 times in a minute

  78. May 21, 2009 4:14 PM

    What do you call two lead guitarists playing the same riff?

    Counterpoint.

    How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?

    Only one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

  79. May 21, 2009 5:09 PM

    You can tell we are all withing a similar age band range, because we share all of those musical references.

    Can’t stand Tonny, though. Or Kubricks Clockwork Orange.

  80. May 21, 2009 5:14 PM

    Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?

    A: A drummer.

  81. May 21, 2009 5:17 PM

    @ISA

    Whilst I spent my teens listening to 70s prog and Talking Heads, my peers were all busy with Iron Maiden or Happy Mondays (both of which I now acknowledge as glorious).

    I’m afraid I walk with the generation that gave the world Coldplay.

  82. May 21, 2009 5:18 PM

    Fck me, I see Al beat me to it. Erm…

    Q: What do you call a dog with wings?

    A: (too cruel, I know)

  83. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 5:21 PM

    XB, I was listening to The Stooges, MC5, Can, The Velvets, The Fugs, Beefheart etc. I listened to all kinds of other stuff, too. I still do, except my tastes have expanded.

    I saw Ian Hunter and his band in 1978 at a club in Boston (Mass.) called The Paradise. While thrashing around, his shades came off. He looked extremely rat-like, with tiny pink eyes. A snapper in the front got off a shot and was promptly kicked in the face by the gracious Hunter. It was a crap show, too…

  84. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 5:28 PM

    Q: How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: Two. One to change the bulb, one to sing a song about how great the old lightbulb was.

  85. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 5:45 PM

    For those of you (like me) with a cruel streak, Question Time’s on at 9:00 tonight and will feature the odious Ben Bradshaw, New Labour creature and party apparatchik par excellence.

    I’ve loathed him ever since he approved a cormorant cull, justifying it by claiming that he had been attacked on his doorstep (Bradshaw’s, not the cormorant’s) by a cormorant. I’m only surprised the slimeball didn’t have them shipped off to Morocco for ‘enhanced interrogation’ under the Terrorism Act.

    It’ll be a delight to watch the scumbag twisting in the wind…

  86. May 21, 2009 5:57 PM

    actually what do you call a dog with wings? Given that Politely Homicidal comes up when people type in sheep porn I don’t think we need worry about offense. I suspect I know the answer but let’s read it from the errrm horse’s pen.

    • 3p4 permalink
      May 21, 2009 10:23 PM

      a dog with wings is called a parrot,, \

      although the dictionary will probably say gryphon

  87. May 21, 2009 6:05 PM

    Linda Mc…..no, I can’t.

  88. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 6:09 PM

    …you’re right. That’s cruel…but probably deserved. If not for her sub-standard tambourine shaking, then for her appalling, desperately unhealthy line of ‘vegetarian’ foods.

  89. May 21, 2009 6:26 PM

    M:

    Not that Yokel Blowgnome was… but, no. I’m above all that now.

  90. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 21, 2009 6:26 PM

    (Enter Heather Mills, stage left; clip-clop-clip-clop… Neigh!)

    “Save animals from landmines! Eat at V-bites, my vegan café just near enough to Sir Macca’s to annoy.”

    (Exeunt HM and attendant troop of morris dancers)

  91. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 6:30 PM

    ….I do love a bit of traditional English entertainment, HLM…

  92. May 21, 2009 6:32 PM

    Yokel blowgnome!!!!!! Will the invention never cease?

    I like the stuff she did with Fluxus ( especially the white chess set ) I contend that the Beatles ruined her not the other way round. She’s dreadful these days and has been since she shacked up with Lennon.

  93. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 6:33 PM

    Yokel, like my youngest sister, was a graduate of Sarah Lawrence (as was Brian de Palma)…just getting in one of my Kevin Bacon moments…

  94. May 21, 2009 6:47 PM

    Al:

    I prefer Charlotte Moorman… on ice…

  95. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 6:49 PM

  96. May 21, 2009 7:10 PM

    Erm… conceptually, I mean…

  97. Captain Ned permalink
    May 21, 2009 7:50 PM

    Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?
    A: His personality.

    I suppose I’m to be counted among the youth of today (though I don’t always feel like it, especially not here… ), and I too love the Fleet Foxes. Not only is their music rather special, the video for their track ‘Mykonos’ is stunning.

    The Dodos, Grizzly Bear and The Handsome Family are also to be recommended.

  98. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 21, 2009 9:10 PM

    I might as well drive everybody else mad…

  99. pinkroom permalink
    May 21, 2009 9:16 PM

    thanks for that Ned… I can’t decide if that is utterly brilliant or incredibly cynical insofar as it sounded a little like 5 seperate hooks re-cycled from Springstein, CSNY, the Eagles, the Beach Boys and yes… The Band spliced together but I do like to hear young men’s voices together in harmony (I presume they are young?)

    The male voice seem to lose something past about 27. Oddly enough I was listening to the Beach Boys’ “Holland” (on vinyl) earlier today when they maybe had a year left in them and it was strangely sad… such a small window before the natural singing voice has to become something different/more stylised or simply die. These guys sound like they can still just open their thoats and well.. sing. I can quite hear why they are so broadly popular.

    • 3p4 permalink
      May 21, 2009 10:42 PM

      utterly brilliant or incredibly cynical

      utterly geeky recording,,not the voices but the bones of the beast,, as dogs go ,,its a pug

      you forgot the reggae at the end,,

      garage band from the rec centre

  100. pinkroom permalink
    May 21, 2009 9:19 PM

    …and sorry HLM but that was just offensively awful.

  101. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 21, 2009 9:38 PM

    Sorry, PR, just being mischievous with something that’s been featured on other PCs about the house today.

    And thanks, Ned, it made me listen to Fleet Foxes with a new ear, as I’d been fairly dismissive in the past.

    …Though I confess to being horrified by this notion that the male voice loses something past 27. I’d be inclined to say that what it gains more than makes up for what it loses…

  102. May 21, 2009 9:44 PM

    The male voice loses something past 27? That’s a generalisation too far I feel. Certainly Englebert Humperdinck lost his charm once he’d past that age but entire genres like the blues rely on experience and voice don’t they? I’ve got some lovely recordings of extremely old Portuguese male choirs – technically not all there but beautiful.

    Fleet Foxes cynical? Err no not at the moment but they may well become that when fame crowds in on them. Although in this eat ’em up spit ’em out era I’m not sure bands get the length of time they need to become like the bloated monstrosities of yore. Warhol’s 5 minutes of fame is about 30 seconds these days.

  103. May 21, 2009 9:56 PM

    From the interviews I’ve read with the Foxes’ Robin Peckwith (if that’s his name), they couldn’t be less cynical if they were sitting by a campfire reading each others’ palms and demanding as payment only the smile on a child’s dimpled face. It’s a beautiful record.

    Of course, it’s going to sound like other things. Bands today, and for some time, either have to accept that their music will be reminiscent of one genre-set or another or drive themselves insane trying to find a sound they’ve not heard before.

  104. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 10:14 PM

    Exactly, XB. I think it’s not just unrealistic but fatuous to demand total originality, which is a chimera in any case. We’re all, to a greater or lesser extent, the product of our influences and memories. How could it be otherwise? As long as they do something interesting with material incorporated or referenced, what’s the problem?

  105. 3p4 permalink
    May 21, 2009 10:34 PM

    hi mish,,got stuck in an obooki loop and every time i came here it was the same as before no matter what i did,,couldnt get past the old page,,eventually i went through google and got a new link
    which i see shows up on my list of favs different than the old one, been a few weeks,,

  106. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 21, 2009 10:34 PM

    FF sound a little West Coast 1967/8 on that evidence. I’m getting some Jefferson Airplane with a soupcon of Forever Changes.

    I noticed The Cry of Love last night so I got that as well as TAAB. How many years is it since I heard Ezy Ryder? Too many.

  107. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 10:45 PM

    Hi, Nick…no idea why you had a problem, but good to have you back.

    Ah, MM..Cry of Love’s a great LP…Belly Button Window, My Friend, Ezy Rider, Freedom. As a big Hendrix fan, I still listen to it quite often.

    Some of Jefferson Airplane’s stuff has stood up pretty well, too. Somebody To Love still sounds good to me:


    .
    .
    …and this could have been recorded yesterday:

  108. pinkroom permalink
    May 21, 2009 11:28 PM

    That somebody to love is really great but it is a young voice, no? Howling, fearless… fresh as a daisy but also a bit haunted/bonkers too. I suspect LSD had a small part to play too?

    I wasn’t saying young was better, just that voices change. Personnally I love young Elvis, older (though not old) Sinatra, slightly older Aretha but young Sam Cooke. One of the best concerts I ever saw was Jimmy Witherspoon weeks before he died… I’d seen him about 20 years before that and his voice was utterly shot in comparison but it was a bit like hearing Lady in Satin, only live. Absolutely spine-tingling… all breathing/timing/interpretation… the whole club seemed to be in tears.

    fwiw I actually quite like Tillerman/Teaser period Cat… he was surprisingly young then, about 24, but sounds years older. “How can I tell you…” for example, an unbelievably passionate performance, coupled with those dreamy bubble looks… I can quite see how student types c.1973 couldn’t compete. His oeuvre much loved by aspiring Reggae singers round (dare I say it) Gasworks Green around then… intentionally or not he almost invented lovers rock single-handed.

  109. mishari permalink*
    May 21, 2009 11:45 PM

    PR, for what it’s worth, Grace Slick was 28 when she recorded Somebody To Love. As you say, voices change (except castrati-ouch).

    Billie Holiday’s voice went from smooth in youth to harsher, hoarser and more ragged in age. I prefer the later stuff, because I find her voice suited the material better. Ella Fizgerald didn’t get any less smooth but her handling of the material was far more subtle and, for me, more powerful, in age. Equally, her voice dropped to a lower key, which I also preferred.

    I guess, ultimately, it depends on what you prefer and on the material. Peggy Lee, was for me, unpleasingly brassy early in her career. Of course, she wasn’t really suited to the big band arrangements she was lumbered with, but still…

    Later, when her voice matured and she learned to control it better, she recorded her best stuff with small groups–Black Coffee, Why Don’t You Do Right, Love Me Or Leave Me, I Don’t Know Enough About You, etc.

  110. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 22, 2009 12:00 AM

    Nice Hendrix piece. Of the oldsters I rather like Ethel Waters, in particular Waiting At The End Of The Road.

  111. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 12:23 AM

    Can’t find the one you mention, MM, but this is nice:

  112. May 22, 2009 12:37 AM

    Yes. I walk with the Coldplay generation too. I live with them. Three teenagers. They have very good taste, but very limited.

    Has anyone developed an expertise in old scool new school Nigerian, Congolese or Ghanaian music.

    Here’s an African version of our honeymoon song, La Negra Tomasa:

  113. May 22, 2009 12:39 AM

    Actually, I don’t know whose version it is, but I LIKE IT!

  114. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 12:41 AM

    Happy music:

  115. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 22, 2009 12:44 AM

    That’s beautiful. Her version of Harlem On My Mind is also fabulous.

    There’s a cornucopia from that era which ought to be better known.

  116. May 22, 2009 12:45 AM

    Click on some of the Congolese links at the end of La Negra Tomasa.

    Sorry, but I think they piss on Coldplay and Britpop.

  117. May 22, 2009 12:47 AM

    Old School Misha?

    Anyone like Missa Luba? Now that’s real old school.

  118. May 22, 2009 12:49 AM

  119. May 22, 2009 12:51 AM

    And there is the Baron on the right. Or is it the left?

  120. May 22, 2009 12:53 AM

    Takes me right back. Means a lot to me.

  121. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 12:56 AM

    Here’s the great Eliades Ochoa. Sadly, youtube hasn’t got any of his best work, which is with his long time band Cuarteto Patria . I’ve got about a dozen of their LPs (they’ve been around since the 50’s) and every one a cracker. Mind you, this is lovely:

  122. May 22, 2009 1:02 AM

    The embedding is disabled Misha, but that looks like an extract from Ry Cooder’s film.

    I am in two minds about Ry.

    Loved Ry since I was 15 – Boomer’s Story:

    “Come and gather all around me
    Listen to my tale of woe
    Got some good advice to give you
    Lots of things you oughta know
    Take a tip from one whos travelled
    And never stopped a-ramblin round
    cause once you get the roamin fever
    You never want to settle down, boy
    You never want to settle down

    I met a little gal in frisco
    And I asked her to be my wife
    Told her I was tired of roamin
    Goin to settle down for life
    Then I heard the whistle blowin
    And I knew it was the red ball train
    And I left that gal beside the railroad
    And I never saw the gal again, boy
    I never saw the gal again
    Saw the gal again
    I never saw the gal again
    Left that gal beside the railroad
    And I never saw the gal again

    Travelled all over the country
    Ive travelled everywhere
    I been on every branch line railroad
    And I never paid a nickel fare
    I been from maine to californy
    And from canada to mexico
    I never tried to save no money
    And now I got no place to bo, boy
    Now I got no place to go

    Listen to a boomers story
    Pay attention to what I say
    Well, I hear another train a-comin
    Guess Ill be on my way
    If you wanna do me a favor
    When I lay me down and die
    Just dig my grave beside the railroad
    So I can hear the trains go by, boys
    So I can hear the trains go by
    Hear the trains go
    Hear the trains go by
    Just dig my grave beside the railroad
    So I can hear the trains go by”

  123. May 22, 2009 1:07 AM

    Once when I was so down I have never been so down – about ten years ago, a real sad sack, I just played Buena Vista Social Club over and over and over again. But one song in particular:

    El Carretero:

    It makes me weep and hope:

  124. May 22, 2009 1:15 AM

    Misha,

    Can’t find Boomer’s Story so here’s a good one. Smells of Tacos al Pastor

  125. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 1:18 AM

    The embedding’s been fixed. It’s not from Cooders film buta video Ochoa made. Check it out. I was delighted when Ry Cooder brought Cuban music to world attention.

    I’d loved Cuban music since the late 70’s when I became friends with a gang of Cuban expatriates in the US. They turned me on to the music and Cuban food, Ropa Vieja, Moros y Cristianos (rice and black beans with stuff…wonderful)–like that.

    I’ve always admired Cooder’s talent and his commitment as an archivist. I have most of his LPs. I don’t think anyone could ever accuse him of selling out. Have you heard the LP he did with Ali Farka Toure? Great stuff…

  126. May 22, 2009 1:24 AM

    My father loved that LP. But Baba Maal was his Man and funeral music. He made us all get up and dance to it in the pews at my mother’s funeral and we got up and did the same at his funeral:

  127. pinkroom permalink
    May 22, 2009 1:24 AM

    Both those African tunes super… my buttocks are already twitching nicely.

    I’m surprised Grace Slick was as old as that… she must have paid some dues as they say. Agree about the big noise from Dakota who was actually much better as a torch singer. Love me or leave me is a very forgiving song… great fast or slow. I like the Nina Simone version where she races through it… piano as a rhythm instrument, which is is as it should be. On balance I prefer younger Billie/older Ella.

    I think these questions are fascinating because there is some elusive sonic quality at work here that cannot be bottled. My big beef with the coldplay gen is that it is this that has been lost… contemp music.. even that FF clip… seems to have computer and rubber gloves all over it, they manufacture swing/soul/feeling/hooks etc but some magic ingredient is still missing… some jazz muso (can they be trusted?) once told me it’s the third/fourth harmonic apparently… digital recording can’t pick it up. The young people have grown-up without it and don’t seem to mind but the more attuned ear feels alienated/cheated.

    I’ve no idea if that third/fourth harmonic thing is true but I could listen to your “happy music” clip for hours but 15 seconds of coldplay, U2, Doves, radiohead whatever will have me running out of the room covering my ears… it’s just horrible, and yet some live acts, or old recordings, will literally have the hairs on my neck rising… even Cat Stevens!

    Are FF good live??? Sound like they could be.

  128. May 22, 2009 1:33 AM

    Last one before bed.

    This is what I have been listening to today.

    First John Mayall and the the real thing: Sonny Boy Williamson:

    The words made me laugh:

    …it’s gonna be your funeral and my trial.

  129. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 1:33 AM

    I often do listen to nothing but African music all day–Papa Wemba, King Sunny Ade, Kanda Bongo Man, the Bundu Boys, Salif Keita, etc., etc. It’s music to lift the spirit. Here’s a nice Ry Cooder track. Pity youttube hasn’t got any of his virtuoso acoustic performances, though:

  130. May 22, 2009 1:36 AM

    Waaaooow!

  131. May 22, 2009 1:41 AM

    You can call him up and tell him what you want…

    But there was a self parodic tone to that album.

    When he sang with Flaco Jimenez on the accordian the great song of Nostalgia for Mexico, it sound good if you don’t speak Mexican Spanish, but if you do it sounds affected. I wonder if the Cuban’s and ‘n the Africans feel the same about his jamming with them. Probably. Ry Cooder is best when he is singing songs from Texas upwards. When he roams the world he’s just a musical tourist.

    The song is this one:

  132. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 1:47 AM

    So if Maria Callas went to Paris to sing in Italian, she was a musical tourist? You do talk some nonsense sometimes, Isa. Here’s Kanda Bongo Man for PinkRoom. Great song, hilarious video:

  133. May 22, 2009 1:54 AM

    Hmmm. Nice and jiggy, music.

    Misha, I am just sucking on thoughts to see.

    Last last:

    Tapatia music: Carlos Santana and Mana. I’ve just added a brother in law to facebook. What a guitarist. He plays this song. Some jazz guitarist today at the college end of course bash being George Benson, only not nearly as good:

  134. pinkroom permalink
    May 22, 2009 7:40 AM

    Loving that bongo clip too… maybe part of that missing factor is simple ‘ joie de vivre”. Could you see coldplay looking happy on a pedalo??? I think not. Or radiohead stepping out in a killer red hat and cumberband combo… they might cheer-up a little if they did.

    Sonny-boy also a marvel… an entertainer with interesting things to say as oppossed to a bore with nothing but commonplace and self-centred slogans. The young people must be somehow forced to listen… re-education camps… I’m sure a suitable syllabus could be devised… starting with early morning booty-shaking!??

  135. May 22, 2009 8:59 AM

    Coldplay are crap but although I’m not a huge fan Radiohead are a bit different. If nothing else they have inspired upcoming musicians to look beyond the 3 guitars and a drum-kit approach. They’ve also kept a few older musicians in work as well.

    we’ve all reminisced, semi-eulogised over Pink Floyd and that period. I think Radiohead are part of that continuum – self-centred for sure and what a crime that is in popular music, the brilliant Tracks of My Tears by Smokey is hardly an objective world-view of heartbreak – but for a younger generation.

    Trouble is with saying A sounds like B is that to an older generation B sounds like C and so on. Picasso said great artists don’t borrow they steal and although time will tell if the likes of Fleet Foxes are great artists , their first album is not a bad start.

    Somewhere I’ve got a tape of a Cuban band playing many of the songs on Buena Vista. A friend bought an album in the early 60’s with them on. One of the singers is Ibrahim Ferrer.

  136. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 9:12 AM

    That Ibrahim Ferrer had his career revived is solely due to Ry Cooder. Ferrer was working as a shoeshine man when Cooder, who’d listened to the old LPs like your friend’s, went looking for him.

    That’s why I strongly objected to Isa’s ‘musical tourist’ jibe. It was unjust. Here are the Afro-Cuban All Stars doing Compay Segundo’s classic Chan Chan. I love the brass section, so punchy it’s almost a percussion section:

  137. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 9:19 AM

    …and this one, just because I’ve always loved it. For all the sneering at the over-blown pretension of bands like Mahavishnu Orchestra from people like Johhny Rotten (now selling you butter on TV) and Iggy (now ditto car insurance), they often transcended their own pomposity. This one is a beauty:

  138. pinkroom permalink
    May 22, 2009 9:25 AM

    Ah Smokey Robinson – thanks Alarming.

    It’s a voice that’s really got a hold on me… and somebody also mentioned Little Anthony too …SA I think. Just wonderful. These are what angels must sound like… perhaps the young people could be made to attend to them first lesson after some rigorous pre-school hip-shaking… perhaps we could name it “Camp Smokey”? I see a lucrative franchise emerging before our eyes.

  139. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 9:29 AM

    “The Tracks Of My Tears”, “The Tears Of A Clown” and “You Really Got A Hold On Me” are three of the most perfect songs ever recorded.

  140. May 22, 2009 10:07 AM

    Does anyone like Zeek Afridi, Pop Idol, lecturer? Go on Misha. Give us some proper good Eastern music.

  141. May 22, 2009 10:15 AM

    Wish I could share your love of things Mahavishnu Mishari. I enjoy the ridiculous technical virtuosity of the musicians. As a drummer myself watching Billy Cobham play is fun but there are far too many notes and paradiddles accented on the 7th and 13th beats in what they play for me.

  142. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 10:26 AM

    I’m reading a book called The Shaman’s Coat: A Native History of Siberia by Anna Reid and I came across this passage about Prince Peter Kropotkin who’d been exiled to Siberia:

    Puncturing Kropotkin’s faith in the state’s ability to reform itself, his experiences helped turn him into one of Europe’s leading anarchists.

    Having served gaol terms in Russia and France, he spent the last thirty years of his life in Britain, where he got into trouble once, for not having a dog licence.

    The English…dontcha love ’em?

  143. May 22, 2009 10:36 AM

    “The Tracks Of My Tears”, “The Tears Of A Clown” and “You Really Got A Hold On Me” are three of the most perfect songs ever recorded.

    -Truer words are rarely blogged.

  144. May 22, 2009 11:20 AM

    I know I’m going back even further, but one voice that moves me always is the great Ella.

  145. May 22, 2009 11:57 AM

    Nobody can sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell. He’s a mile past 28 here (or a recording contract) but every word sings. They’ll be playing this when they throw me on the hoodoo wagon.

  146. May 22, 2009 12:18 PM

    I used to love Mahavishnu. I painted a picture of their firebird, or whatever it was, on our garden wall in New Delhi. I can almost put the record on in my head and listen to it.

  147. May 22, 2009 12:21 PM

    Baaba Maal in the paper today.

    What no Middle Eastern music, Misha?

  148. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 22, 2009 1:07 PM

    I love the Mahavishnu stuff, Shakti probably even more. Perfect bliss-out stuff when you’re riding the metro during rush hour. Drummers like Cobham and Walden and percussionists like Zakir Hussain are also high on my list of musical likes. Carter Beauford is another: he’s the main reason I’ve followed the Dave Matthews Band for so long. This is a low-key #41 with another musical genius…

  149. May 22, 2009 2:23 PM

    No. Shakti was good but it was more vainglorious, colder and virtuoso.

  150. May 22, 2009 2:35 PM

    (Sorted. You’d missed the final ‘o’–Ed)

  151. May 22, 2009 2:42 PM

    Alarming doesn’t appear to have said anything!

    My link to a lovely clip of Marcus Suzano playing the pandeiro ( Brazilian tambourine AKA a Brazilian laptop as you can play anything on it ) doesn’t seem to have worked.

    I put it up as an antidote to the fury of McLaughlin.

  152. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 22, 2009 2:45 PM

    An unusually articulate comment from Alarming there.

  153. May 22, 2009 3:05 PM

    Fut the shuck up MM. Mean I belt the hell away

  154. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 22, 2009 3:32 PM

    Yuo tgo ti.

  155. May 22, 2009 3:36 PM

    There are, literally, no other songs.

    Jack Ely screws up and comes it too early after the solo, Lynn Easton tries to cover for him, they don’t fucking bother to do another take and sell a million copies anyway.

  156. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 3:56 PM

    Bill, Ella is incomparable. Here she is with the great Oscar Petersen on piano:

  157. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 4:48 PM

    Some old favourites:
    .

    .


    .


    .


    .
    .

    This one is actually more interesting for Benny Goodman. This is the man who commissioned work from Bartok, Stravinsky,Malcolm Arnold, Morton Gould, and Aaron Copland. Not your average big band leader.

  158. May 22, 2009 5:08 PM

    Ella Fitzgerald singing “Every Time I Say Goodbye” is pretty special. The first time I heard that song it was a Simply Red cover, which I thought was pretty good, although I don’t expect you all to agree with that! It was mostly the song which impressed me though.

    I’ve been meaning to look up more of her stuff, so I’ll look at the above when I’m back home.

    Nina Simone was amazing as well.

    Both of them would turn in their graves when they hear me kill their songs on the karaoke though…

  159. May 22, 2009 10:24 PM

    Thanks for sorting that Mish and top quality choices all round everyone.

    At the moment this site should be called Politely YouTube.

  160. May 22, 2009 10:30 PM

    More fun than the books blog Misha.

    But I think if you kept a little more dignified distance and played hard to get as the blog poster than we would all weigh our words more carefully and respect you much more and your blog would have a lot more literary weight. (This post is an example of irony–Ed.)

  161. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 10:40 PM

    Right…literary weight being my primary concern, of course. Please tell me you’re kidding, Isa….why the hell would I want anyone to ‘weigh their words’? This isn’t The New York Fucking Review of Books. It’s just a casual blog, a playground, a hangout–nothing more. Sheesh…

    But as you’ve seen fit to speak so plainly, I will too. If I wanted advice on how to run my blog, I’d ask someone who ran a successful (if we measure success by hits and comments) blog of their own, not you. Your comments were worse than rude, they were presumptuous.

    You presume that I must want something other than what I already have. Where the fuck do you get off? I won’t tell you how to conduct your personal affairs and you don’t tell me how to conduct mine. What is it with some fucking people? First Tom presumes to lecture me on what he misguidedly conceives to be my duty, now you lecture me on how to run my blog. Jesus…(This post is another example of irony–Ed.)

  162. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 22, 2009 11:02 PM

    Weighing my words with care, I would say that Vincent D’Onofrio is worth his weight (which must be considerable) in gold. I hope you caught L&O Criminal Intent. Superb.

  163. mishari permalink*
    May 22, 2009 11:12 PM

    I’m sorry to say, I haven’t watched L&O at all, although I do like D’Onofrio. You’d recommend it, then, MM?

  164. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 22, 2009 11:26 PM

    I would. His repertoire of tics and mannerisms is wonderful, and his trademark sniffing of corpses is something to see. Pure Method school, I suppose, but really well done. His female partner is great support, too. The stories are averagely daft, but that doesn’t seem to diminish his performance.

  165. May 22, 2009 11:50 PM

    D’Onofrio’s alien living inside ill-fitting human body in Men in Black is one of the best physical bits of acting I’ve seen in years.

  166. mishari permalink*
    May 23, 2009 12:00 AM

    That was a great performance, Al. One of the high points of the film, I’d say…

  167. May 23, 2009 1:12 AM

    You were right. I was ineed taking the pee, Mishari.

    I think your blog is really good.

    Shall I get my coat?

  168. May 23, 2009 1:15 AM

    Who is Tom?

  169. May 23, 2009 1:19 AM

    They say the Internet is not a good place for irony unless you stick an emoticon at the end of everything you say. Do you honestly think I would have an opinion about what you should do with your blog?

    Nope.

    It was a comment on distance as power as expressed in blogger poster interaction. I’ll save my “so fuck yous” for some other time as you misunderstood.

  170. May 23, 2009 1:42 AM

    Alright, time for some Disney Dali:

  171. mishari permalink*
    May 23, 2009 3:10 AM

    This was made in 1959. I’m guessing Vanderbeek was a major influence on Terry Gilliam:


    .
    .

    On the cover of the latest issue of French GQ: Exclusif! Johnny Halliday 100% CHIC!

    To think I’d live to see the day when the puke-fest that is Johnny Halliday né Jean-Philippe Smet, would be hailed as ‘chic’. What’s happened to France? First Disneyworld, now this…

  172. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 23, 2009 10:29 AM

    I wuz gonna post “When The Morning Comes” by Hall & Oates to cheer everyone up, but it can’t be found. Not in the original version, anyway. Here’s a second-best: at least if you start your day on a low point, everything will get better. Does this make me a troll?…

  173. May 23, 2009 10:45 AM

    You have to admire a guy who fucks as many people as physically possible… until he starts losing his looks, then goes around spreading the word that fucking as many people as physically possible is, you know, wrong. I had lunch, long ago, with the guy in charge (for BMI) of royalty payments for Europe who told me that Steven/Cat/Yusuf’s songs still bring in millions, but that he’s divided the songs into his “good” songs (see clip above) and his “satanic” songs, and donates the money from the satanic ones (mostly the ones about his cock, to which he gives a shout out, in song, as *mona bone jakon*) to charity; so he’s not a *total* hypocrite (just a total loony).

  174. May 23, 2009 10:54 AM

    France is a strange one Mish. They “do” social events far better then we Brits manage, they know how to behave socially ( though apparently binge drinking is becoming chic ) and yet there are whole towns under Front National leadership.

    The secular approach to education is a great idea and should have encouraged colour-blindness but if you are Senegalese/Algerian you know that if you go for a job your colour plays a big part in the decision to employ you. I think that was the big reason for the riots around Paris a few year’s back – utter frustration at the inability of some to be able to move out of ghetto situations.

  175. May 23, 2009 10:56 AM

    re: the Vanderbeek/Gilliam connection: good god!

  176. mishari permalink*
    May 23, 2009 12:19 PM

    Is that a ‘good god’ as in “good god, the rip-off is blatant” or as in “good god, don’t be absurd”?

  177. May 23, 2009 12:52 PM

    the *blatant* good god: the hammer alone! Reminds me of the shock I experienced watching The Big Lebowski (after reading Pynchon’s Vineland): if you value an artist chiefly for his/her originality (etc)…

  178. mishari permalink*
    May 23, 2009 1:22 PM

    Well, you know what they say…immature artists plagiarize, mature artists steal. Originality’s good, but I think I value artistry more. I mean, a meal of Sheeps Udders Braised in Rancid Pus is certainly original: revolting but original…I’ll take an unoriginal but well-made omelette, thanks.

  179. May 23, 2009 1:57 PM

    re: I don’t recommend the Little Chef on the A1 near Bury St. Edmunds for their omelettes. I wish I’d ordered the sheep’s udders – which you actually make sound rather good.

    A third of the restaurant’s tables were empty because they only had 2 waitresses on that night who couldn’t be expected to cover the floor area. The look on a coach party’s face when they came in and were told that there was no room was priceless – it’s rare to see blank incomprehension en masse.

    In fairness Gilliam’s animations are patchy but also inspired at times. Rather like his features films.

  180. May 23, 2009 2:04 PM

    “I’ll take an unoriginal but well-made omelette, thanks.”

    Guernica is one of the most over-egged puddings I’ve ever chewed through!

  181. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 23, 2009 2:34 PM

    gastracronymic
    Braised Udders in Rancid Pus
    for rudderless sheep

  182. May 23, 2009 3:15 PM

    Nablogovian

  183. mishari permalink*
    May 23, 2009 3:30 PM

    Don’t get me wrong, Al. I greatly admire Gilliam. God knows, he’s infinitely preferable to the herds of corporate film-makers who churn out the same old dross, year in, year out. And to be fair, Vanderbeek was just as clearly lifting ideas from all sorts of people–from Juan Gris to John Heartfield and nothing wrong with that.

    You put your carefully selected ingredients in the sausage machine and with any luck, you make a new and delicious kind of sausage…

  184. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 23, 2009 4:57 PM

    Morning has broken, my head is splitting,
    Stomach is churning, think I might hurl,
    I have a bedmate, naked and snoring,
    Let’s pray to Jesus that it’s a girl.

    Twelve pints of lager, three or four brandies,
    A bottle of Scotch, six shots of gin,
    One late-night curry, a handful of Mandies,
    I can’t remember which town I’m in.

    I should get up now, and set off running,
    But if I move I’m going to scream,
    I’ll shut my eyes now and think of nothing,
    Go back to sleep and hope it’s a dream.

  185. May 23, 2009 4:59 PM

    It’s tricky I think. Someone like Gilliam is great because there’s no-one like him doing that stuff … in film at least ….. but then you think, hang on some of it is actually not very good at all. But the attitude is still commendable.

    A bit the same with Peter Greenaway in the 80’s, it’s great to see someone working like that but on reflection the films are all rather unpleasant and not unpleasant in a good way. Greenaway made terrible art too – I once saw an exhibition of his drawings presented in such a grand way with a published hardback catalogue complete with essays proclaiming his genius. Trouble is the drawings themselves were awful – lots of mannerisms and tricks disguising poor drawing skill.

    Gilliam at least isn’t like that – he’s encouraged quite a few people I know in the performance world and helped them raise money for projects. Shame his Man of La Mancha film didn’t come to fruition. Judging by the excerpts of the ” Lost in La Mancha ” documentary it looked like it would have been a good subject for him.

  186. mishari permalink*
    May 23, 2009 5:40 PM

    “Lost In La Mancha” was great entertainment. One had to feel sorry for Gilliam, though. I mean, how much bad luck can a man have? Illness, deluges, cloud cover, fighter jets…it just never ended. As you say, his work’s been patchy but at least he takes chances and his work is never less than visually arresting.

    That kind of sacrilege, MM, would have had you disembowelled by some of the girls I knew back in the early 70s, mild, fey creatures though they were…

  187. Captain Ned permalink
    May 23, 2009 6:35 PM

    Re. Gilliam – I do think that ‘Tideland’ is one of the most underrated films of the past ten years or so.

  188. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 23, 2009 9:07 PM

    Disembowelling by fey girls… mmmmmmmm…

  189. May 24, 2009 11:07 AM

    I found Tery Gilliam’s animations either to be pretty awful or really funny – didn’t seem to be any middle ground. This one still makes me laugh:

    (sorry I’ve got no idea how to put the videos up here – it’s probably very easy really, but I’m a bit of a techno-thicky)

    Also I loved the Fisher King. Which was partly the direction and partly no doubt the presence of great actors such as Jeff Bridges and Robin Williams (I know some people find Robin Williams annoying but he was very suited to this part – the endearing oddball). Oh and a good story of course. I haven’t seen it for years so I can’t remember the details to tell you. I might have to find it and watch it again.

    Here’s a link anyway…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fisher_King_(film)

  190. May 24, 2009 11:08 AM

    Oh it is “very easy really”, it did it completely all by itself and now I look stupid for saying I couldn’t put a video up there!

  191. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 24, 2009 11:22 AM

    Disembowelment by the Fey

    ‘Wild World’ played as they cut me down
    and slipped the noose while I still breathed.
    Eve rolled up the sleeves of her gown,
    parted her long pale hair, unsheathed

    her knife and slit from neck to nuts.
    The crowd gasped. Eve smiled secretly,
    and dug in to rip out my guts.
    Then Miranda, enigmatically

    blanking me as she always did,
    wanly forked the blubbery mass
    from scaffolding into ashpit.
    Helene, whose eyes like chips of glass

    had many times bored into mine
    as I made desperate chit-chat,
    put aside her book of ley-lines,
    her Tarot cards and Burmese cat,

    and, sighing, thrust her small white hand
    up to her elbow in my chest,
    and showed my jerking heart to the crowd.
    The air was smudged with smoke and lust.

  192. May 24, 2009 1:02 PM

    MM you truly are the love-child of St. Sebastian and Adge Cutler. Respect!

  193. HenryLloydMoon permalink
    May 24, 2009 2:18 PM

    Corn In Cannes

    From Pythøn ik den Høli Gräilen
    To Fear and Loathing, Venezuelan
    Brazil, La Mancha, Munchausen,
    Gilliam dreamt up one thousand
    And one realms of fantasy
    The jury was in ecstasy
    At fables full of wondrous things
    Like twelve monkeys and fisher kings
    And junkies, dwarfs and jabberwocks
    And Billy Grimm and bobbysox
    Imaginary, umconnected
    But it came true, quite unexpectedly
    in Gilly-Gilly-Ossenpfeffer
    Katzenellen-Bogen-By-The-Sea

  194. May 24, 2009 3:38 PM

    Yes; while being shocked to be informed by our host that TG’s Python animations did not spring fully-formed and unique to his own forehead, I still think the man’s a worthy filmmaker; Brazil is a gem and I seem to remember Jabberwocky as being grand… Time Bandits good (if you like midget fare)… 12 Monkeys less so (I’d have to see it again to know for certain but the thing is I just don’t *want* to)… erm. Have I mentioned how brilliantly prescient I found/find Brazil?

  195. May 24, 2009 8:14 PM

    I have mixed/no feelings about Terry Gilliam but it seems rude not to rustle up an opinion.

    When watching Lost in La Mancha, the more I learned of his plans for his Don Quixote film (‘the novel has problems but nothing that can’t be fixed by some Gilliam magic – namely giant marionettes and a time-travelling Johnny Depp shouting ‘fuck’ as often as possible. man’) I was actively rooting for the project to fail.

    Just got back from Potsdam today and am considering a documentary project; ‘Roccoco: A warning from history’.

  196. mishari permalink*
    May 24, 2009 8:35 PM

    Roccoco is ghastly, isn’t it. BTW, XB, have I got an LP for you:

    Deep River of Song: Mississippi – Saints and Sinners

    This is part of Rounder’s Alan Lomax Collection.

    Recorded by Alan and John Lomax during the late ’30s and early ’40s, this volume in the Deep River of Song series focuses on work songs, ballads, spirituals, blues shouts, and all kinds of story songs. A companion volume to Deep River of Song: The Blues Lineage, which presented field recordings by Son House, Muddy Waters, and many other Delta bluesmen, Saints & Sinners presents a good look at the musical climate of rural Mississippi during the early 20th century. Listeners are given an ample view of the atmosphere of the times, which was much closer to the days of slavery than many blues fans realize.

    The names known best to Delta aficionados are Sid Hemphill and Dobie Red, though much of the best material comes from the many contributors who never made it to a studio; Alec Askew, Crap Eye, Rev. C.H. Savage, Henry Joiner and Deacon Tom Jones are just a few of the mysterious names whose sparse recordings lend a ghostly air to the proceedings. For those captivated by the mystery of many selections from Harry Smith’s Anthology of American Folk Music, Saints & Sinners is a vital addition to their library. ~ Earl Simmons, All Music Guide

    Recorded between 1936 and 1942.

    Performers include: Big Charlie Butler, Lucious Curtis & Willie Ford, Thomas “Jaybird” Jones, Joe Shores, Jim Henry, Sid Hemphill, Alec Askew, Will Head, Will Starks, Crap Eye, Jeff Webster, Joe Miller, Dobie Red, Frank Evans, Rev. X.H. Savage, Henry Joiner, Annie Anderson, Deacon Tom Jones.

    Tracks:

    1 It’s Better To Be Lucky by Big Charlie Butler 1:29
    2 Stagolee by Lucious Curtis, Willie Ford 1:44
    3 Walking Billy by Thomas Jones 4:10
    4 Mississippi Sounding Call by Joe Shores 2:55
    5 Come Here, Dog, And Get Your Bone by Jim Henry 2:27
    6 Emmaline, Take Your Time by Sid Hemphill 2:21
    7 Hog Hunt by Alex Askew, Lucius Smith, Sid Hemphill, Will Head 4:45
    8 The Fox Hunter’s Song by Will Starks 2:51
    9 Times Is Getting Hard by Lucious Curtis, Willie Ford 3:48
    10 Diamond Joe by Big Charlie Butler 2:18
    11 One Morning At The Break Of Day by Crap Eye 1:58
    12 Workin On The Levee, Sleepin On De Ground by Jeff Webster, Jim Henry 1:40
    13 Lord, I’m In Trouble by Jim Henry, Joe Miller 2:36
    14 Stewball by Dobie Red And Group 5:18
    15 Rosie by Dobie Red And Group 2:48
    16 French Blues by Frank Evans 2:16
    17 Rock Daniel by Rev CH Savage And Group 2:34
    18 Interview by Rev CH Savage And Group 3:10
    19 Hallelu, Hallelu by Annie Anderson And Group, Henry Joiner 2:29
    20 I Couldn’t Hear Nobody Pray by Rev CH Savage And Group 1:08
    21 Conversion Experience by Henry Joiner 4:36
    22 Let Me Ride by Rev CH Savage And Group 3:53
    23 If I Had My Way I’d Tear The Building Down by Deacon Tom Jones Rev CH Savage And Group 4:13
    24 Little David by Deacon Tom Jones Rev CH Savage And Group 3:31
    25 Calvary by Rev CH Savage And Group 3:26

    An absolute stunner of a collection. I’ll send it along with the Richard Thompson selection when you sort out your address, assuming, of course, that you don’t have it already. You almost certainly know Blind Willie Johnson’s version of If I Had My Way I’d Tear The Building Down…this version is a beauty, too.

  197. May 24, 2009 9:30 PM

    Steven, how could I forget about Jabberwocky – brilliant!

    HLM, very good. I also meant to say earlier I liked MM’s ode on the Morning has Broken theme, which I did sing along in my head to the tune…

    You see you don’t need to set an actual poetry challenge around you guys, you just make up your own, whereas I need a good month’s notice and some diagrams before I seem to be able to construct a worthy poem. I guess it’ll get easier with time, the more I write.

    So is Billy going to be running Poster poems once a month now?

  198. May 24, 2009 9:46 PM

    Jumpin’ Jehosophat, Mishari, I am unaware of that incredible cd and will be getting our post box number tomorrow. Thanks for the offer, as always. I take it you’re familiar with the Revenant American Primitive series?

    Willie Johnson is a deity and, like Fahey, I often wonder why Harry Smith chose John the Revelator over, say, Burn that Building Down or Nobody’s Fault But Mine; let alone Ry Cooder favourite Dark Was the Night (which turns up, brilliantly, in Pasolini’s Gospel According to Matthew, yet another reason to love PPP).

    St Polly; may we see some of your poetry diagrams?

  199. May 24, 2009 9:54 PM

    Btw, XB: you know where to turn to for Berlin’s canned food and boxed drink on holidays (which are depressingly plentiful here: no, it’s not a post-neutron-bomb diorama you waken to on Mutter’s Day… the natives are all at Granny’s, with the steel shutters down, watching “Please Laugh”) and after 8pm on weekdays, yeah…?

  200. MeltonMowbray permalink
    May 24, 2009 10:07 PM

    You are very kind, St Polly, but I think the scansion was all over the place. You seem to me to be doing very well with your own material.

    More Sebastian Faulks than St Sebastian I think, Alarming.

    You overners will be pleased to hear that I shall be visiting your benighted island for a few days tomorrow. Bask in my glorious presence while you can.

  201. May 24, 2009 10:11 PM

    Must admit, SA, we got caught out on Thursday. Only off-licenses and kebap shops and none of the yogurt and flat-bread I’d popped out for. Do share. I think it was the anniversary of Parsifal slaying something.

    That said, we have a Penny Markt downstairs and the Turkish market on the canal is 20 seconds walk away. So food is plentiful at other times. If the exchange rate wasn’t so screwed we’d be virtually eating for free.

    Bought museum year cards yesterday; already rather groggy from Rembrandts, van Eyks and a parade of the weird, lumpy grotesques that pass for most German renaissance art – Durer and Cranach aside. Cranach’s Fountain of Youth is positively indecent. I had the same feeling of voyeurism in a public place when seeing another of his group nudes in Munich last year. Splendid. There is no art in the modern art museum. Although maybe that’s the point.

  202. mishari permalink*
    May 24, 2009 10:28 PM

    XB, I’ve also got the accompanying volume, if you’re interested:

    In their latest installment of roots, blues and world folk music compiled from historian Alan Lomax’s wide breadth of field recordings made earlier this century, Rounder Records has released a shining collection of earthy blues entitled Mississippi: The Blues Lineage (Musical Geniuses of the Fields, Levees and Jukes).

    Lomax’s intent for this collection of Delta blues, which were originally recorded between 1936 and 1942, was to build an important bridge from the present to the past, especially for African-Americans who he feared have lost touch with their rich cultural heritage. “It is a thing of great beauty,” wrote Lomax. “No song style exists anywhere that can surpass this material for sheer variety, originality and charm. Yet it’s most genuine aspects are little known today and are fast fading out of currency under the pound of the media.”

    Culling material that Lomax, along with his father John, mined from the deep South’s folk musicians, Mississippi: The Blues Lineage opens a window not only into the history of the blues but into the feelings and living conditions of rural southern blacks in the thirties and forties.

    “Going down in the Delta, where I can have my fun. Where I can drink my white lightning and gamble, I can bring my baby home”, sings William Brown (not to be confused with bluesman Willie Brown) on “Mississippi Blues”, which touches on two familiar themes of early blues – love, or love lost, and vice. “High-Rolling Sergeant” captures a group of three prisoners, recorded from Mississippi’s Parchman Penitentiary in 1936, chanting their plan for escape in work-song fashion, while Hollis “Fat Head” Washington, also an inmate at Parchman, delivers a chilling cry of freedom on “Early in the Morning”.

    Although filled with superb performances from the aforementioned unknown artists, Mississippi: The Blues Lineage also features artists that would eventually help shape the future of the blues. These artists include the likes of McKinley Morganfield (aka Muddy Waters), David “Honeyboy” Edwards, who at 84 years old still performs and is the only living link to the original Delta bluesmen, and Eddie “Son” House, one of the original “soul” blues singers who was an immense inspiration on two of the greatest bluesmen of the Delta South, Robert Johnson and Muddy Waters – the latter Lomax accidentally discovered while searching for Johnson in 1941, who he found had been poisoned to death by the jealous husband of a lover.

    Waters is featured on the album with two of the last numbers he ever recorded on the plantation where he worked in Stovall, Mississippi before moving to Chicago and changing the face of blues forever. One of them “You Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone”, with his somber vocals and meaningful slide guitar, was a song that he would resurrect later in his Chicago heydays.

    “Honeyboy” Edwards, who claims that he was with Robert Johnson at his deathbed, is featured on the tumultuous number “Wind Howlin’ Blues”, filled with painful vocals, soulful harmonica and a guitar style which hearkens back to the style of one of his mentors Big Joe Williams.
    The raw, unadulterated blues of “Son” House is showcased on three numbers “The Jinx Blues”, “Low Down Dirty Dog Blues” and the brilliant “Walking Blues”, which features House delivering his saintly-sinner vocals over a rebellious country blues accompaniment by Fiddlin’ Joe Martin (mandolin), Leroy Williams (harmonica) and Willie Brown (guitar).

    Tracks:

    1. Ragged And Dirty – William Brown
    2. Mississippi Blues – William Brown
    3. County Farm Blues – Son House
    4. High Rolling Sergeant – Sam Carter & Jim Mickles
    5. Early In The Morning – Hollis ‘Fathead’ Washington
    6. Jinx Blues – Son House
    7. I Be Bound To Write To You – Muddy Waters
    8. You Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone – Muddy Waters
    9. Wind Howlin’ Blues – David ‘Honeyboy’ Edwards
    10. High Lonesome Hill – Willie Ford & Lucious Curtis
    11. Payday – Willie Ford & Lucious Curtis
    12. Train Blues – Willie Ford & Lucious Curtis
    13. Santa Field Blues – Willie Ford & Lucious Curtis
    14. Low Down Dirty Dog Blues – Son House
    15. Red River Blues – Frank Evans
    16. Walking Blues – Son House

    …also a wonderful collection.

    I’ve got 2 volumes of the John Fahey Revenant Primitive series. Great stuff.

    Re: Modern Art, some years ago a German museum was sued by Joseph Beuys when a cleaning lady chucked out a large lump of fat that compromised one of his works. Apparently, it was melting and she naturally thought the proper place for it was in a skip. A lesson for us all there, I think: employ more discriminating cleaning ladies.

    Thanks for the warning, MM. I’ll stock up on shotgun shells…

  203. May 24, 2009 10:47 PM

    XB! Shit. I meant to get you this info *before* this last holiday: on the S-Bahn service running through the old Zoo Station (from Alex) you’ll find, three stops from Alex, at the Friedrich Strasse station, on the ground level, a very large grocery store called EDEKA, open until 22:00 on almost every day but Xmas eve… also lots of other things open late in that complex… next stop, at Lehrter Bahnhof (the new Main Station), there’s a pretty large, multi-tiered shopping complex, that I haven’t tried out yet, that’s a safe bet… then there’s the Zoo station: (orientation: traveling in the direction of Ruhleben) there are stairs in the platform near the front of the train; descend these, turn left through a dizzying fug of weaponized pisscloud and you’ll find a very large ULRICH supermarket, again: open most days until 22:00. These are just the easy ones… whatever you do, don’t fall for the trap of shopping at the petrol stations (which is what we had to do in the ’90s, as all the fecking shops closed after 18:00 and for the entirety of the weekends and long, long holidays).

  204. May 24, 2009 10:57 PM

    “group nudes”

    Should have been here before they “cleaned” Berlin up; it’s positively Disneyfied now, but in the old days, first warm spell of the year, the best looking women you’d ever seen would peel off their H&M tops in order to brown their Wagnerian jiggly baldies. EVERYWHERE there was more than a square meter of grass. Tiergarten strewn with nude blondes like the aftermath of some Scandinavian Jumbo crash. Once had picnic there with my then-gf (semi-prim daughter of Iranian intellectual dissidents) and whilst A. nibbled my shrimp salad demurely, a statuesque albino stood under a free-standing shower pipe, thirty meters behind A.’s back, and *soaped* herself with a thrilling lack of self-consciousness. I am not making this up. It was only after A. repeated (for the third time) whatever brainy question she’d posed that she peeped over her shoulder and managed to strike me with an empty water jug at the same time.

  205. May 24, 2009 11:06 PM

    http://berlin.barwick.de/shopping/out-of-hours-shopping.html

    Several “normal” supermarkets are now experimenting with late night or even 24hrs opening:

    Berlin’s first “24 hour” supermarket is a branch of Reichelt at Berliner Straße 24, 10715 Berlin (Tel. 030-863 9192-0). Open continuously from 8am on Monday to 11pm on Saturday, not quite 24/7. Closest station: Blissestraße (U7).
    23 branches of Kaisers Supermarket now open from 8am until midnight each day except Sunday. The following are branches in the centre of Berlin:
    Charlottenburg: Bismarckstraße 91, 10625 (near Deutsche Oper (U2))
    Charlottenburg: Neue Kantstraße 29-30, 14057 Berlin
    Friedrichshain: Landsberger Allee 68d, 10249 (crossing Landsberger Allee / Warschauer Straße)
    Friedrichshain: Revaler Straße 2, 10243 Berlin (on the Warschauer Straße near Warschauer Straße Station)
    Kreuzberg: Yorkstraße 78, 10965 Berlin
    Kreuzberg: Zossener Straße 28, 10961 (near Gneisenaustraße (U7))
    Mitte: Annenstraße 4a, 10179 Berlin
    Neukölln: Hermanstraße 106-107, 12051 Berlin
    Prenzlauer Berg: Prenzlauer Allee 104, 10409 Berlin
    Prenzlauer Berg: Schönhauser Allee 130, 10437 (halfway between U-Bahn Schönhauser Allee and Eberswalder Straße stations (U2))
    Schöneberg: Nollendorfplatz 8-9, 10777 Berlin

  206. May 24, 2009 11:49 PM

    XB I promise to show my working out for the next one, I’m afraid I normally dispose of it all in a controlled manner (or whatever the phrase is for getting rid of hazardous waste) once I’ve posted the finished article.

    MM it definitely worked for the version of Morning Has Broken which rattles round my head, but bouncing around in there might have knocked a few of the lines askew so I can’t be sure.

  207. pinkroom permalink
    May 24, 2009 11:50 PM

    The Morning has Broken lyrics and melody, now forever gleefully polluted by MM, which SA suggests are in the @good@ songs Cat/Yus claims royalties for were neither his… the lyrics belonged to Georgian poet/pal of Edward Thomas, Eleanor Farjoen and the melody is an old Scots Gaelic air called Bunessan.

    I will now have to cleanse my ears/soul with repeated playing of Smokey Robinson… “because I’m crying, over you, baby,baby”.

    I think I shared a flat with SAs Rhine-maiden c.1981… I think shamelessness and all-terrain nudity were part of the Cold War curriculum on both sides at the time? A sort of mutually assured destruction underwritten by hairy, dangly bits above those horrible medical looking sandals they used to wear. If the world didn’t kill itself entirely the chances of further procreation were surely to be limited on aesthetic grounds alone.

  208. pinkroom permalink
    May 24, 2009 11:54 PM

    The rather good piano part on Cat’s MHB is by Rick Wakeman apparently. Flat fee of a tenner and no credit. Serves him jolly well right for… well, all sorts of things.

  209. May 25, 2009 4:43 PM

    I like Yusuf: A is for Allah. I had the teacher in Sharia at the Saudi Academy or whatever it was as my student for a bit. Thin man with a beard, quite the patriarch. Wore a black dress, you know the one.

  210. May 25, 2009 4:50 PM

    For Misha

  211. May 25, 2009 4:51 PM

    La ilaha ila Allah

  212. May 25, 2009 6:02 PM

    I have loved the singing of the Muezzin since somone gave me a cassette in Guadalajara. And last year I was introduced to Jan Gabarek. Soothing and soul satisfactory, don’t you think – so lyrical and sad. Like a Khadish.

  213. Captain Ned permalink
    May 25, 2009 6:04 PM

    Whatever did stoneofsilence do to have two posts in a row deleted from the current PotW thread?

  214. mishari permalink*
    May 25, 2009 6:33 PM

    There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not:

    The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a mod with a post
    Proverbs 30:18-19, KJV(slightly revised)

    I had post deleted from the Rawnsley thread. It stood for two days and got well over 100 recommendations. The only offence was that it was true. Clearly the exciting new debased Grauniad is more concerned with not offending one of their pet hacks than with the truth.

  215. May 25, 2009 9:09 PM

    Thanks for all the info, Steven. It’s appreciated.

    Regarding your sunbathers story (beautifully told, btw); We’re partial to an all-over tan and, having had a stroll around Tiergarten it seems the days you describe have indeed passed. That said, we’re off to Wannsee tomorrow…

    Also, regarding Fleet Foxes, I was surprised to see a huge version of their CD cover in one of the galleries we went to. There was an enormous amount of Dutch/Flemish art there and my Netherlandish other half was getting rather, ah, ironical in her observations.

  216. May 26, 2009 1:45 PM

    3p4

    Are you saying yes to the GU anthology?

    If so, can you e-mail Sarah Crown?

    Urgentish!

    Thanks

  217. May 26, 2009 8:11 PM

    So you nearly sorted the final list out now Billy? Will it be the size of a telephone directory?

  218. 3p4 permalink
    May 27, 2009 3:46 AM

    thanks for the consideration Billy,,have re-sent ,,

    thanks to iant for the second heads up and pointing out my adress error

    thanks to mish for the lamppost

    special thanks to anyone who needs to feel appreciated this evening

    (Ta. You’re in Vancouver, right? Is that 8 hours behind London?–Ed)

  219. May 27, 2009 7:56 AM

    Trade secret, St P.

  220. mishari permalink*
    May 27, 2009 8:43 AM

    ‘Trade secret’, Bill? Then I’m going to have to insist you use the tradesman’s entrance from now on. Just ring the bell marked ‘Tradesmen’ and Cringe will see to you. Be patient. He’s a bit slow, poor old sod. I believe he’s 143 years old and he keeps snivelling about ‘retirement’.

    “Bah! Stuff and nonsense, Cringe. Your wages have been docked since 1917, when you wrecked Great-Grandpa’s Hispano-Suiza. It’ll be another 24 years before you’re clear. Now run along and clear out the gutters. Ladder? What the devil d’ye want a ladder for, damn your eyes. Just lash yourself to the chimney-stack.”

    And off he tottters, to the sound of brittle old bones snapping like breadsticks. Honestly, when all’s said and done, the man’s a treasure.
    .
    .

    The other evening I watched a documentary about The Carpenters, who personified, for me, the potential horrors that lurk beneath the world of of popular music.

    It exercised a kind of gruesome fascination. At the end, her (Karen’s) lawyer made me laugh by saying:

    “The last time I saw her was when she came into the office to review some documents concerning her divorce…(pause)…from her husband…”

    You know–just in case you thought she was divorcing her accountant or the cat or something.

  221. May 27, 2009 10:46 AM

    I thought… hmm. She wasn’t married to her brother?

    But seriously. From Cat Stevens to The Carpenters? When’s Gordon Lightfoot getting his chance in the bloglight, then?

  222. May 27, 2009 11:21 AM

    The worst thing about the Carpenters is how catchy the damn tunes are. Many years ago we were putting up an exhibition in an art centre and the cleaners had the Carpenters playing on the house sound system. I was horrified to discover I knew all the words to most of the songs and the guitar solo to one of them without having consciously sat down and listened to them.

    why have the CIA invested in waterboarding technology when a quick trip to a store to buy The Carpenter’s Greatest Hits would achieve a similar breakdown of resistance?

  223. May 27, 2009 11:42 AM

    “and the guitar solo to one of them”

    That would be the solo from “Goodbye to Love”, I’m assuming?

  224. May 27, 2009 11:58 AM

    Could be but I think it was the solo to Interstellar Overdrive or whatever it was called – luckily names of songs don’t linger as long in my mind as the damn melodies.

    Steven your comment sounds like a lead up to a revelation – don’t tell us you played that solo. By which I mean DO tell us.

  225. mishari permalink*
    May 27, 2009 12:11 PM

    Be very, very careful, jünger. This info could be dynamite in the wrong hands…

  226. May 27, 2009 12:36 PM

    Christ. What can I say now that won’t disappoint?

    “Could be but I think it was the solo to Interstellar Overdrive or whatever it was called…”

    Do you mean, “Calling Occupants (of Interstellar Craft)”? The cover of the Klaatu song? Klaatu being rumored (at the time) to be The Beatles reincarnated? (Based on the evidence that the protag, of that name, from The Day the Earth Stood Still, is resurrected near the end of that flick). But the band were mere Canadians, in fact.

  227. May 27, 2009 12:43 PM

    Steven was hoping for revelation of you being Elvis or Erich Von Daniken’s love-child but reminder of the song title, its genesis and some inner-esting related facts will suffice for now.

    But should you want to spill the real beans this blog is helpfully entitled Politely Homicidal so should provide a home for your confessions.

  228. May 27, 2009 12:45 PM

    In time, Al. In time…

  229. mishari permalink*
    May 27, 2009 2:33 PM

    “…mere Canadians…”, tsk-tsk. Make nice. In a post-apocalyptic world, Canada might well be the only refuge (as long as a fault line develops along the length of the border with the US and the US falls into the Gulf of Mexico…).

    Moose-burgers (delicious..seriously). Elk steak, ditto; salmon, trout…waffles with real maple syrup, Labatt’s Ale, Molsons Ale…Celine Dion moved to the US…it’s all good, eh?
    (Canadians notoriously end every sentence with the word(?) “Eh?”)

    Read Elvis Von Daniken’s latest: Blue Suede Shoes of the Gods…

  230. May 27, 2009 2:43 PM

    The Carpenters; I can’t believe it. So bad they were bad.

  231. May 27, 2009 2:45 PM

    You ain’t nothing but a chariot of the Gods

    I saw you conversing with aliens from another universe in the Chapel

  232. mishari permalink*
    May 27, 2009 4:34 PM

    Al, I believe you mean “You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound God”. A classic. Siriusly.

  233. May 27, 2009 4:54 PM

    I highly recommend Von Daniken’s later books where he abandons his initial ideas and just lies to the reader. Claims of alien landing strips in the jungle with Aztec stone garages full of space craft complete with iffy photos.

  234. mishari permalink*
    May 27, 2009 6:14 PM

    I remember reading…was the first one Chariots of the Gods? I think so…when it first came out. I guess I was about 15 or 16 and I wanted to believe in advanced, essentially benevolent aliens from the stars–aliens who were interested in us and our little blue planet.

    To anyone who was willing to suspend intellectual rigour (that would be me, not that there was much to suspend, mind) and allow themselves to be persuaded by grainy photos of…stuff…the book was a treat.

    Look! Saharan rock paintings and surely, that’s a space suit the figure is wearing! Yes, indeedy: It must all be true! I waited daily for my own personal alien to appear and whisk me away to the stars, reveal the secrets of the multi-verse, gift me with a faster-than-light drive and a cure for all illnesses.

    I spent time practicing my waving technique. Obviously. I mean, the parades that would be held in my honour would be tremendous!

    The youth who gave us the stars with the Al-Adwani Warp Drive! The Al-Adwani Fusion Reactor that runs on seawater! All known diseases a thing of the past! No wonder everybody was cheering me wildly…well, they would be when I got back.

    Obviously, to do that, I’d have to leave first. I spent every waking moment searching the heavens, like a man who’s called an intergalactic taxi.

    I still wonder where my alien got to. Bastard.

    Erik von Heineken has some explaining to do…

  235. May 27, 2009 7:10 PM

    Eric von Daniken, Thor Heyerdahl, John Lilly, Baba Ram Dass, Uri Geller, Jane Roberts, Alvin Toffler… I want my fucking pocket money, my carefree adolescence and my common sense back… you lying cunts!

  236. mishari permalink*
    May 27, 2009 8:44 PM

    Jesus, Steven…talk about a blast from the past. Alvin Toffler and Future Shock…I’d forgotten all about him. Lilly and his dolphins and acid (what was the book called? The eye of the cyclone? Or hurricane? something like that; Rhum Baba…what was his real name? Alan Watson? Watkins? Ex-colleague of Leary’s, as I recall.

    Never heard of Jane Roberts, or at least I don’t think so. But Thor Heyerdahl…I loved Thor and his game Scowegians, proving the Incas sailed to Easter Island or whatever it was (I loved Kon-Tiki and read it many times as a boy) and the reed boat trip to prove the Gyppos settled Peru or something…Aku-Aku? Great stuff for boys.

    Occam’s Razor is never going to be a big hit with 10-11 year old boys…dreams, adventures…remember Thor and the boys encountering a whale-shark?

    Shit, I’d never even heard of whale-sharks. How the balsa logs got progressively more sodden and less buoyant…had me worried, there…

    Happy, innocent days…

  237. May 27, 2009 10:21 PM

    “Lilly and his dolphins and acid (what was the book called? The eye of the cyclone? Or hurricane? something like that; Rhum Baba…what was his real name?…)”

    1. Center of the Cyclone (owned it and a couple of others’ of Lilly’s)
    2. Dick Alpert (author of Be Here Now, that strangely-formatted book on thick brown paper, which I also owned)
    3. Incredibly, we forgot to mention Carlos Castaneda! The biggest mystico-shitter of them all! (Okay: second to von Daniken, to give von Daniken his due).
    4. And where did Buckminster Fuller fall on this continuum of wildly lucrative, narco-optimist fabulation… ?

  238. May 27, 2009 10:43 PM

    Coda: I lived in San Diego for a spell, and practically the day I landed, the Heaven’s Gate deathcult bit the deathcock as one (wearing uniforms and box-fresh trainers and featuring, in a cameo, Uhura’s real life brother) in an effort to rendezvouz with the Hale-Bopp mothership/comet, led by a guy who first made it on the para-reality scene when you and I were building model kits and following the news of the comet Kohoutek (and sporting pyramids on our heads, or sharpening not-strictly-necessary razor blades in them, possibly).

    Heaven’s Gate (for me, at least) was both the long-deferred Altamont of my “cosmic” beliefs and an epiphany about the frightening unreliability of the brain (these guys were mostly tech professionals) as a Reality conduit.

  239. May 27, 2009 10:51 PM

  240. mishari permalink*
    May 27, 2009 10:53 PM

    Ah, yes..Don Juan, was it? The Yaqui way of horseshit. But those books were fucking ubiquitous. I never read further than 20-30 pages before giving up in exasperation.

    Anyway, I’d discovered that gullible old smoothie-chops, Colin Wilson: (The Outsider; The Occult) and through him, Gurdjieff, Crowley, An Experiment With Time (I think it was called), De Sade, Von Sacher-Masoch, Krafft-Ebbing, Madame Mumbo-Jumbo herself Blavatsky, William Reich, The Rhine Institute, etc, etc.

    A head full of drugs and pop-mysticism–between that and the in-roads made by sexually predatory girls on the Pill, it’s a wonder I survived my teens…

  241. mishari permalink*
    May 27, 2009 10:59 PM

    Jonestown gave me the horrors; Heaven’s Gate made me snort with derision. As you say, they were seemingly of above-average intelligence, made big bucks as programmers, but…the term ‘brilliant morons’ springs to mind.

    I seem to remember that some of them had undergone castration, because that peccant and unruly member interferred with concentration on being taken to the stars by Klingons in the tail of a passing comet…Christ (shakes head mournfully)…

  242. May 27, 2009 11:12 PM

    “I seem to remember that some of them had undergone castration…”

    Probably somewhat easier to consider overdosing on phenobarbital mixed with vodka (after securing a plastic bag around your head to ensure asphyxiation) at that point, then.

  243. May 27, 2009 11:39 PM

    non sequitur time:

  244. mishari permalink*
    May 28, 2009 12:16 AM

    Just watched the Heaven’s Gate geek. He seems almost reasonable until you start listening to what he’s actually saying; whereupon you realize, the man’s crazier than a shit-house rat.

    What’s almost chilling is his seeming harmlessness–the quavery old man’s voice, the Frank Perdue-look (for those unfamiliar with US cultural icons, Frank Perdue was the American Bernard Matthews; If I remember correctly, Perdue [who looked like a bald chicken himself] would deliver his spiel, ending with his catchphrase: “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken”), the Mr. Rogers manner (Mr. Rogers was the host of a long-running US children’s show , Mr. Roger’s Neighbourhood; I always thought him unspeakably sinister)…

    Knowing what the old baldy put into motion, the video is really rather creepy. Oh, by the way, he says he’s Jesus…yeah, that Jesus…

  245. May 28, 2009 9:01 AM

    Never went Heaven’s Gate but I used to eat up the Daniken-style paperbacks; like budget supermarket versions of a premium brand. There was one, Secrets of the Lost Races – there must have been a free money day at the publishers for anyone willing to put their name to an absurd theory – which proposed that the earth was not visited by aliens, that was daft, but had once been run by super-advanced humans that travelled the earth in hover-ships using ley-lines for power. After that I moved on to more reputable fare; Holy Blood & the Holy Grail, Jack the Ripper: The Final Solution, the Tomb of God, etc.

    Mishari,

    Don Quixote is one of my favourite books; made me laugh out loud often although book two does drag and MC seems over-keen to be flattering someone in power.

    I loved the gulf between DX’s vision of himself and his actual experience, how each humiliation is assimilated into his myth of himself – it’s cruel, tragic and very funny; also liked the way MC interrupts his own story, works real-life bootlegs into the narrative, invents epigrams. And I found DX and Sancho’s friendship just as entertaining and moving as I’d hoped. Showed me that a novel could attempt anything, no matter how, erm, Quixotic.

  246. May 28, 2009 9:07 AM

    It was better in the old days, before mass media, when a total loony often remained a strictly local (and smellably unimpressive) nuisance. The minute you put Fred Rogers on camera, however…

  247. May 28, 2009 9:17 AM

    XB, Mish:

    The classiest of the genre, I believe, was “Morning of the Magicians” (Jacques Bergier and Louis Pauwels), translated from the French… fantastic stuff. The cover of the book (which, as I recall, featured a tentacled brain) had a powerful effect on my larval mind. From the wiki entry:

    “In 1954 Bergier met Louis Pauwels, a writer and editor, in Paris. They would later collaborate on the book, Le Matin des Magiciens (Morning of the Magicians) which was published in France in 1960. This book takes the reader on a neo-surrealistic tour of modern European history focusing on the purported influence of the occult and secret societies on politics. It also attempts to connect Alchemy with Nuclear Physics, hinting that early alchemists understood more about the actual function of atoms than they are credited. ‘The Morning of the Magicians’was very popular with the youth culture in France through the 1960s and 1970s. It was translated into English by Rollo May in 1963 under the Title: the Dawn of Magic. It first appeared in the USA in paperback form in 1968 as The Morning of the Magicians. This book spawned an entire genre of explorations into many of the ideas it raised, such as connections between Nazism and the occult.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques_Bergier

  248. May 28, 2009 9:30 AM

    It’s always worth remembering that Aleister Crowley ended his days living in Bed & Breakfast in Hastings. Wonder if he ate the full English breakfast every morning or if he didn’t what did he do with it?

    There was a chilling documentary on Jonestown last year – even the people who saw through it couldn’t manage or bring themselves to leave.
    A self-help book ought to be written about group dynamics and the related psychoses

    I might have mentioned this before but a New Age mag up here in Manchester in the early 80’s had small ads offering help for those damaged by self-help groups

  249. mishari permalink*
    May 28, 2009 9:57 AM

    Steven, I well remember the Bergier/Pauwels book. It was, I think, a cut above the usual. Colin Wilson’s 1,000-odd page grab-bag The Occult sent me ricocheting off in umpteen different directions at once. As a drugs and romance addled teen, I was pre-disposed to go for that sort of thing.

    I was convinced (as my intake of such books accelerated along with my drug consumption and my promiscuity) that supernatural powers were lying around like gold nuggets at Sutter’s Mill, just waiting for an alert and (cough) psychically potent fellow like my teen self to come along and help himself.

    What a cluck I was. Mind you, I was a teenager: Wilson was a middle-aged man–what was his excuse?

    XB, I completely agree with you Re: DX. It is, in many ways, a cruel book. But Cervantes had a rough life and I don’t think he harboured any illusions (his years in a Turkish galley put paid to that); but all around him he saw men who did, who subscribed to all the nonsense of the chivalrous hidalgo, to Castilian supremacy when, in fact, Spain was, looted New World gold not withstanding, a poor, backward country priest-ridden and encumbered by innumerable parasitical inbred aristos…it is, I think, an angry book…

    Al, apparently, after they’d carted The Great Beast 666 off to be buried, they cleared his room at the Hastings B&B. They discovered vast quantities of empty gin-bottles and heroin and morphine ampoules.

    I saw a film recently with Simon Callow playing Crowley incarnate (literally. That was the premise of the film). It was quite entertaining, but I can’t remember what it was called…

  250. May 28, 2009 10:10 AM

    It’s a tricky one isn’t it? These books feed into one’s distrust of convention/establishment etc. which is confirmed when you discover that the pillars of the establishment aren’t exactly pillars themselves. But they all seem to end up in an extreme form of solipsism which is fairly useless if you really want to challenge the corruption of society.

  251. mishari permalink*
    May 28, 2009 10:25 AM

    L. Ron Hubbard bigs up Crowley:

  252. May 28, 2009 11:25 AM

    Who’s the bloke in the Admiral’s cap? Is he a magickal ventiloquist?

  253. May 28, 2009 12:27 PM

    Two classic titles: The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross by John Allegro and The Old Straight Track Alfred Watkins.

    Haven’t we had this conversation before?

  254. May 28, 2009 1:14 PM

    Billy yes we probably have. My comments are part of an LSD flashback.

  255. May 28, 2009 1:28 PM

    Oh no; it’s deja vu again.

  256. freep permalink
    May 28, 2009 3:49 PM

    Thanks for the Scientology clips, mishari. I’m astonished at the longevity of the Hubbard claptrap project, but I guess something that mixes religion, ‘science’, technical knicknacks, counselling, and sticks and carrots can appeal to lots of vulnerable people. And when they added in the celebs, it looks like a good marketing mix.
    I remember in the mid-60s walking around Saint Hill Manor near East Grinstead, where the first UK Scientology church was set up, and meeting a bloke in a country lane who tried to get me to take a ‘personality test’, because he said they help me to get ‘clear’. Well, of course, I would like to be clear, like anyone else, especially since he was in this lane with a tousled blonde angel whose lips spoke to me without moving. But when I probed a little, it was obvious he was a total wanker, and the girl was an accessory.. Nothing since has persuaded me otherwise. And the delightful ventriloquial admiral above is, I would say, clear of anything under his hat.
    Scientology has none of the interest of Gurdjieff groups (to which Pauwels was attached for a while), which at least revelled in a kind of wild philosophy of spiritual levels. For Gurdjieff and his theoretician Ouspensky, you could get rid of the waste of ‘inner considering’ and achieve higher levels of consciousness through all sorts of exercises and practices, from dance and meditation and singing, to umbrella-mending and trickery. Scientologists don’t have the bottle to describe themselves as interested in alchemy and surrealism; and I would rather end up raddled in a Hastings B and B than ‘clear’ among the celebs in East Grinstead or its US equivalent.

  257. May 28, 2009 5:20 PM

    freep there used to be a shop in Manchester that lured people in to take a Scientology questionnaire. A journalist friend of mine did it and said that if he hadn’t have started the day off in a buoyant mood the experience would have finished him off.

    The guy who tried to lure you in was the worst advert possible. Greasy, lank hair combed over a scabby forehead, the colour of his skin ranging from Alizarin crimson to Rose madder and always wearing a mac shiny with grease even in hot weather which served to accentuate his sweaty look.

  258. mishari permalink*
    May 28, 2009 5:30 PM

    But, freep…how can you be so shallow? How could the prospect of basking in the glow of Tom Cruise’s teeth not set your pulse racing?
    This brutish indifference to the things of the spirit is worrying. You need a personality test. toot-sweet. Don’t forget to bring your bank details…

  259. May 28, 2009 5:33 PM

    This thread will suffer when YouTube gets around to deleting all those videos.

  260. freep permalink
    May 28, 2009 5:37 PM

    My bank details would, I fear, put me beyond salvation. Or even salivation. The account is clear, even if I’m not. My recollection from London, Al, was that all Scientologists used to wear shiny PVC macs.

  261. May 28, 2009 5:43 PM

    The macs if not the people in them were all probably made on Alpha Centauri or wherever it is that Scientologists come from.

  262. May 28, 2009 8:22 PM

    Al, there’s a scientology place (church?) on Peter St in Manchester isn’t there? Shiny building, sleek like a bank, funny that!

  263. Liu permalink
    March 29, 2010 11:33 PM

    nice comments

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